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Blossoms and Barbells by ilsuocantante
I didn't know why I found her caustic banter amusing and arousing rather than offensive and
obnoxious, but I couldn't help the thought that there was something beneath it; a sweetness hidden by
the trappings of sarcasm and steel." Tattward/Inkella.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 9,791 - Reviews: 110 - Updated: 8-9-
09 - Published: 7-31-09 - Bella & Edward - Complete
I rode the elevator up to the tenth floor and stepped out into the hall, breathing a sigh of relief at finally
being home. It had been a long, grueling day at the office. One of our biggest accounts was faltering
and the client was threatening to pull their business and find representation elsewhere. My team and I
spent the day pulling lead trending reports and strategizing the best course of action to get our
markets back to goal. To say it was a headache was the fucking understatement of the year, and all I
wanted to do was get home, pour myself a scotch and zone out on the couch.
I walked toward my door, dimly noting that the lock box on the apartment next to mine had been
removed and there were flattened boxes piled up outside the door. I didn't really have the energy to
wonder about who my new neighbor might be, beyond the fact that I hoped they weren't a dick.
I loosened my tie as I walked in the door and threw my keys on the kitchen counter. I headed straight
for the liquor cabinet and poured myself a good three fingers of Glenlivet with just a splash of water. I
had some fucking class, after all. I deposited myself on the couch with a sigh and immediately tuned to
sports center and took a long pull from my drink. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes,
thoroughly intending to enjoy the remainder of my evening by being as fucking lazy and unproductive
as possible.
I had just started to doze off when I was jarred awake by a banging against the wall to my right. I sat
bolt upright, confused for a minute as to what the sound could possibly be. Then I heard it again, a
loud
bang bang bang
against the wall. I sighed in annoyance and dragged my hands through my hair.
So much for a quiet night.
I opted to just let it run its course; obviously my new neighbor was hanging pictures or some shit and I
couldn't begrudge them that, though why they felt the need to start on their home decorating at 11
o'clock at night was beyond me. I reasoned that it couldn't go on for long and I could be patient and let
them do their thing for the ten minutes or so it would take them.
Half an hour later the insistent banging had not abated and I was about to lose my goddamn shit. I
decided I would have to go read my new douchebag neighbor the riot act. I mean, what the fuck? It
was almost midnight. That was just inconsiderate.
I wrenched my door open and stalked to the adjacent apartment, banging on their door when I arrived.
The hammering inside paused and a few seconds later the door opened.
I suddenly had a hard time remembering why I was here in the first place.
The woman who opened the door was... stunning, and my annoyance dissipated almost immediately.
She was small in stature, but the persona she projected made her seem larger than life. She had dark
hair cascading in messy waves, with streaks of blonde and red framing her heart shaped face. She
had a Marilyn piercing on the left side of her face, right above her full lips. The juxtaposition between
her innocent looking features and the steel ball nestled against her porcelain skin was impossibly
sexy. Her eyes were coffee colored, framed with dark lashes and shadow. She was wearing a pair of
tiny red shorts and a white tank top that left little to the imagination, but fueled quite a few fantasies.
And as if that wasn't enough, she had on knee-length tube socks. I don't know why I found them sexy
instead of ridiculous, but I had a hard time not staring at her legs... which was pretty fucking insane
considering her tits were practically eye fucking me through her shirt.
She returned my shameless up and down perusal, taking in my khakis, white dress shirt and loosened
tie with a quirk of her full lips.
"Thanks, but I've already heard the good news and to be honest I wasn't all that impressed," she said
in a surprisingly husky voice that shot straight to my dick, despite the fact that she was clearly mocking
me.
What the fuck does that even mean?
"Isn't it a little late for you to be out tending your flock, brother?" she asked with a mocking grin.
She thinks I'm some fucking Jehovah's Witness?
"Funny," I deadpanned, back to being annoyed with my clearly douchetastic neighbor. Even if she was
smoking hot. "Actually, the good news is that I'm your new neighbor. Congratulations. The bad news is
that I'm going to need you to stop whatever it is you're doing so loudly at nearly midnight on a
Wednesday."
Her mocking grin immediately fell into a scowl. "It's not a crime to hang pictures in your own place."
I had to admit, her sneer was borderline cute, but I was in no mood to deal with some random mouthy
broad tonight. Even if she did have legs up to her eyeballs. "No, it isn't. But it should be illegal to be
bitchy enough to completely disregard common courtesy."
"Did you just call me a bitch?" she hissed, her eyes narrowing and her face suffusing with color.
Shit.
"No, but it's not my fault if my statement hits home."
"Dick," she muttered.
I had to smirk. "The biggest."
One corner of her mouth lifted at that, and I could see the reluctant amusement come into her eyes
even as she rolled them at me and muttered, "bastard" under her breath.
I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. I didn't have the energy for anymore verbal sparring
tonight. I was tired as fuck and just wanted to go to bed by that point. "Look, I don't mean to be rude,
but I've had a long day and the hammering is getting on my last damn nerve. Can you just do it
tomorrow or something?"
She cocked her head to the side and seemed to consider me for a moment before nodding. "Fine. I'll
stop for tonight. Happy?"
I nodded. "Thank you."
"Good."
And with that she shut the door in my face.
What a fucking bitch.
oOo
The next week went by in a blur. I worked so many hours that I hardly saw daylight, let alone my
intriguing yet bitchy neighbor. We passed one another in the hallways occasionally, usually her
heading out as I was coming in for the night. Each time her scent would assault me as she passed,
offering me a smirk or wave and my dick would harden immediately. It was fucking annoying and
pathetic. What was I, fifteen and popping a boner at the mere sight of a pretty girl? My involuntary
reaction to her just fueled my resolve to have as little to do with her as possible, but I couldn't help the
fantasies that popped into my head at random times, and the dreams plagued with dark, wild hair and
creamy skin.
I walked into the lobby of my building, exhausted and feeling generally assholish. I pushed the button
and waited for the elevator doors to open, rubbing my eyes with the heels of my hands. I heard the
ding signaling the car had arrived and just as the doors opened I was body slammed by a freight train.
At least, that's what it felt like to my tired body, wholly unprepared for impact.
"Fuck," I groaned, trying to keep myself and my armful of... someone from going ass over elbows in
the lobby.
"Sorry," a muffled voice sounded from beneath a cloud of dark hair. Dark hair with blonde and red
streaks.
Fuck
. Her body was pressed against me and I could feel every soft curve I'd ogled in the last
week. They felt better than they looked. She was incredibly warm and I could almost feel the heat
pulsing from her body into mine. She straightened and whipped her hair back from her face, the action
causing a tantalizing wave of scent to hit me; strawberries and vanilla, intoxicating. The soft, feminine
scent was a direct contrast to the hard demeanor she exuded, and I found the contradiction more
appealing than I probably should have. When she caught sight of who was holding her upright her
eyes widened and her cheeks colored. My hands were clutching her elbows, and I noted the skin of
her forearms was silky and smooth. I fought against my thumbs' ridiculous urge to stroke the flesh
beneath them. We held eye contact for a beat; I noticed her eyes, which had seemed so dark last
night, were actually flecked with gold. Despite her bitchy demeanor, they held a warmth that I could
feel myself getting lost in.
The attraction annoyed me. She
was
a fucking inconsiderate bitch after all. Not at all the kind of
woman I usually found myself drawn to. "Would you watch where you're going? Jesus," I hissed,
releasing her arms roughly. She stumbled back a step and glared at me.
"Oh, I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" she sneered. "You do seem so delicate." She glanced pointedly at my
arms which - I have to admit - were pretty nice. I worked out on occasion, after all.
And fuck me if I didn't find this mouthy girl amusing as hell. I couldn't hide the grin that split my face at
her antagonizing.
"Hardly, you're probably what? One ten soaking wet? I've handled worse, I just wasn't prepared to be
slammed head on like a goddamn freight train."
Ok, her soaking wet was not the visual I needed right now.
"I don't know, when I'm soaking wet I'm not usually thinking about much of anything... least of all how
much I weigh," she countered with a smirk and a raised brow. "Sorry for... slamming you, though," she
said with a wicked grin.
Oh dear lord.
I was at a loss for words, any witty comeback that I might have had been lost as the
image of her soaking wet and bouncing on me assaulted my brain. I shifted my eyes around, looking
anywhere but at the confusing - yet fucking hot - woman before me. I noticed her bag on the ground
where she dropped it. I bent to pick it up, and couldn't help but check out her stems on my way back
up. She was wearing a short black skirt paired with a red zip up hoodie and black chucks, the
combination making her look badass rather than slutty. As I ran my eyes up her creamy legs I noticed
a dark marking on her right inner thigh. It was a thin and twisting shape, but I couldn't quite make out
exactly what it was, and I'd probably already taken way too long to straighten at this point.
Fucking hell, an inner thigh tattoo?
Why do I find that so insanely hot?
"Here," I said, clearing my throat and handing her the small black bag. It was heavier than it appeared.
"What's in this thing? A brick?"
"Yeah, you never know when you might need to bash someone's head in. I like to be prepared." She
rolled her eyes at me. "It's my camera."
"Oh," I said rather lamely. "You're a photographer?"
"Sometimes," was her cryptic response. "And I'm late for a shoot, so I'll see you around, neighbor,"
she said as she walked away, throwing me a wry grin and a wave over her shoulder.
"See you," I murmured. I pressed the button for the elevator again and waited for the doors to open.
When it dinged, I felt my body brace for another impact.
Fucking Pavlovian response.
As I entered my apartment I realized my body was no longer heavy with exhaustion but rather buzzing
with nervous energy. I could still feel the imprint of her body against mine, the latent electricity pulsing
through me, my blood still humming with excitement. I didn't know why the weird ass girl affected me
like she did, but I couldn't fight my body's response to her. I had been hard since I realized whom it
was I'd held in my arms.
Fucking traitorous dick.
I decided to go for a run instead of returning to my regularly scheduled Thursday night program of
beer and watching Michael Scott make an ass of himself. I stripped out of my slacks and button down,
and pulled on a jockstrap, running shorts and an old t-shirt. I laced up my running shoes, grabbed my
iPod from the dresser and headed out the door. Once I was on the street I jogged in the direction of
my favorite park, my footfalls in time with my favorite running soundtrack, Pennywise's
Live at the Key
Club
album. I reached the path just as Jim urged me to "Pick it up, pick it up!" and increased my pace
to match the fast paced guitar and vocals of
Living Through Today
blasting through my ears. The
music never failed to quicken the blood in my veins and drive me to push myself further. I kept a
steady, fast pace throughout the entire album. The run was cathartic, I felt the stress of the week melt
away as I pushed my body further, the sweat dripping down the side of my face. I slowed down as the
last track began, letting my heart rate slow as Jim sang
Bro Hymn
.
I walked home, enjoying the cool night breeze on my overheated skin. I was tired again, but not in the
mentally exhausted and overwhelmed way that I had been when I first arrived home. I waved to the
doorman as I entered the building and stopped in my tracks as I saw Neighbor Girl waiting for the
elevator. As I debated whether or not to stall and let her take the elevator first, she spied me out of the
corner of her eye and turned to offer me a shy wave. With no choice other than being a rude bastard, I
walked toward her. As I neared I saw that she was on her cell phone and breathed a small sigh of
relief. I would not have to engage in verbal warfare with her while trapped in an elevator for ten floors.
The sparring excited me on more than one level, and with the reminder of the intriguing tattoo on her
left thigh, I really did not want to have to test my self control in a confined space.
"No, it went well," Neighbor Girl said into the phone. "Yeah, they were perfect. I think it will be really
hot." She tilted her head as she listened to whatever the person on the other end had to say and I
spied a barbell cutting through her upper ear.
An industrial... nice.
I wanted to lick it. And then was annoyed with myself for the thought. I wondered what else she had
hidden, she seemed like the kind of girl that was full of surprises. And apparently I was the kind of guy
who was intrigued by an unpredictable girl with a slight mean streak. Who knew?
The doors opened and we walked into the elevator. I hit the button for our floor and leaned back
against the wall, shamelessly staring at her as she spoke rather distractedly into the phone. She didn't
seem to notice. She picked at her sleeves as she talked. I wasn't sure if that was a nervous habit or
just... a habit. I noticed she bit her full bottom lip when she listened and occasionally rolled her eyes at
whomever was on the other end. The elevator cabin was filled with her scent, it was like breathing her
in. I hoped my own scent did not permeate the air, as I'm sure it was not quite as sweet as hers. More
like rank as fuck as I was still a little sweaty from my run.
"Uh huh," she murmured. "Yes. Just kind of fucking stark black and white." She paused. "Like I said,
it's hot, but it's still elegant. Lots of abstract shots. I think it will be perfect for the show."
Hmmm... hot, you say? Wonder what kind of photos little miss Neighbor Girl takes?
I was pulled from my musings as she snapped her phone closed. "Enjoying the view?" she asked with
a smirk. "Would you like me to take a picture? It will last longer."
"Are you always such a mouthy bitch?" I asked without thinking, no real heat behind my words.
She laughed, a small girlish giggle that was incongruous with her husky sexpot voice. "Are you always
such a starebag?"
I shrugged and returned her amused grin. "Only very recently."
She nodded. "Well, there you go." She seemed to take in my appearance for the first time, looking me
up and down with an unreadable expression. "Why are you all sweaty?"
"Went for a run," I answered, shoving my fingers through my damp hair. Her eyes followed the
movement of my hands, they were dark and intense and I felt my breath catch in my throat at their
weight. She stepped toward me, moving so that her chest was nearly touching mine, our bodies just
barely grazing with each of my ragged inhalations. Her nearness' effect on me was unnerving; I could
feel the static electricity buzzing through me at her proximity. Her fingers came up to my jaw, tracing
the shape. Her touch was nearly scalding and I felt her heat pulse into me. She gently pushed against
my jaw until I turned my face away.
"Has anyone ever photographed you before?" she asked softly. I could feel her warm breath ghosting
across the sensitive skin of my neck and fought back a shiver.
"No," I managed to grit out, my voice gone gravelly with sheer want. I kept my hands balled in fists at
my sides, lest I give into their need to yank her to me and tangle themselves in her hair.
"I'd like to," she said simply, stepping back as the elevator dinged, signaling we'd reached our floor. I
stayed against the wall, resisting my body's urging to step forward and have her put hands on me
again. I'd never had such a visceral reaction to such a basic touch before - I mean, fuck, she'd only
skimmed my jaw with her fingers - but I was very nearly panting and my dick was throbbing. Thank
God for jock straps.
The doors opened and she walked out without a backwards glance as I struggled to rein in my body's
rampant and irrational need for her.
What was with this girl leaving me hanging every damn time?
I adjusted myself so I could walk to my door without waddling like a fucking hunchback. Her door was
open as I passed by, but I resisted the urge to stop. I needed to get inside before I did something
really fucking uncool. Like walking in without invitation and pushing her up against a wall. Or really any
flat surface. I thought about laying her out on top of the granite countertop I knew matched my own
and licking up her thigh until I deciphered just what she'd marked herself with. And why.
That train of thought obviously did not help the whole massive boner situation, so I hurriedly unlocked
the door and stepped into the sanity of my apartment, where everything made sense. Like a shower
where I could beat off until the pressure inside of me eased. With that in mind I headed straight back
to the bedroom, stripping as I walked. I turned the water on as hot as I could stand and stepped
beneath the spray, letting the water soothe me. I braced one hand on the shower wall in front of me
and let the steaming water cascade over my head, hoping it would help to clear it. I couldn't get the
image of Neighbor Girl - fuck, I didn't even know her name - out of my head. I'd never experienced this
sort of instant attraction to anyone before, and it was unnerving. More so because I wasn't even sure I
particularly liked her - or, I
shouldn't
like her in any case. I didn't know why I found her caustic banter
amusing and arousing rather than offensive and obnoxious, but I couldn't help the thought that there
was something beneath it; a sweetness hidden by the trappings of sarcasm and steel.
I thought of her dark hair, so sexy and tousled, framing her innocent looking face. The porcelain skin
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